By Carol Howell
I love Chinese Food. I especially enjoy sushi
rolls. Fortune cookies, on the other hand, are disgusting.
Most of the time, the fortune inside of them says something that isn' a fortune
at all. For example, it might say “You have character”. That is NOT
a fortune. If it said, “You have character that will lead to great
success,” THAT would be a fortune.
Recently, my fortune said, “You will soon be receiving some good
written advice.” I have high hopes that written advice will look
something like this. “Dear Mrs. Howell, we are pleased to announce you
have won a gazillion dollars in the ‘Win A Bunch’ sweepstakes.” Yes, oh
yes! That would be some “good written advice”. In the meantime, I
have decided to use that fortune and this blog to bring you, my reader, some
good written advice.
I recently watched the movie “1,000 Words”, with Eddie
Murphy. He portrays a character who, among other things, visits his
mother with dementia. She thinks he is her husband, and he continues to
insist he is Jack, her son. This, of course, does not settle well with
her, confuses her, and causes the visit to be less than what Jack had hoped it
would be.
When visiting with someone who is not living in the here and
now, allow them to set the tone and character of the conversation. If
they believe you to be someone other than who you are, go with the
moment. Dust off your acting skills, smile, and be whomever they seem to
think you resemble. The process may not seem like fun, at first, but
watching your loved one smile, liven up, and have a few moments of happiness is
really what your visit should be about, anyway.
Eddie Murphy’s character, Jack, had some education ahead of him
before he figured out this technique. You, on the other hand, have just
been the beneficiary of the fortune from my recent Chinese food
experience. Please put this “good written advice” to work.
Hope
that gives you Something To Ponder.
Carol Howell is a Certified Dementia Specialist and Music Therapy
Coach. Her book - If My Body Is A Temple, Why Am I Eating Doughnuts? - is
available for e-readers at www.amazon.com and www.barnesandnoble.com . Her
latest book, LET'S TALK DEMENTIA - A Caregiver's Guide is a
help for those peripherally affected by dementia, written with her
characteristic humor. Contact her at carol@seniorlifejourneys.com or read more at
www.seniorlifejourneys.com.
5 comments:
I have a relative who's heading that way, so I'll keep your advice in mind. Meanwhile, your fortune cookie commentary reminded me of the day I received an empty one. When I complained, the waiter brought a second cookie. I cracked it open and read, "Great fortune will come to you if you wait patiently." A legitimate fortune!
This may work unless they demand to see the actual you, and then comes the possibility of playing both--at the same time.
Now that's love.
Good advice. Sometimes it's easier and nicer to just play along. Thanks for the reminder.
I love the irony in the way you deliver your advice, well done! And thaks for sharing.
Sign its time for memory care facility Many families struggle to determine the best time to transition to memory care. Still, just like how particular warning signs can forewarn a cardiac arrest, dementia or Alzheimer’s will reveal symptoms that can emphasize the presence of a progressive cognitive disorder. It’s understandable considering that dementia is a progressive condition, which means spotting the perfect time while multiple symptoms uncover may not be easy.
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