Monday, January 14, 2013

He Said, She Said - The Geezer Version

Two years ago, as my husband and I entered our fifties,
we moved across the street from my parents who are in their seventies,
with our two children who are in their twenties.

Life here is never dull.

One of my chief sources of cheap entertainment
is to call each of my parents and hear the same story from two very different perspectives:

"Hi Dad, is mom feeling any better from the flu today?"
"I was just up at the house and she was pretty busy in the kitchen. She must be improving!"
"Hi Mom, how are you feeling?"
"Terrible! I tried to get myself something for lunch and I was so shaky, I dropped a bowl of leftover stew. It broke and splattered all over the floor. I'm exhausted! I had to clean it up, vacuum, and wash the kitchen floor."

"Hey Dad, what's new today?"
"The dog's very worried about me since I got home from my trip."
"The dog's worried about you?"
"Yes. Every time I go to leave the house now, he makes a big deal about it. I think he's worried I'll go away again."
"Hi Mom, what's up?"
"Oh, your father's driving the dog crazy. Every since he got back from his trip, he can't leave the house without hugging the dog a hundred time and repeating, 'I promise I'll come back,' 'don't worry, don't worry. I'll be back.' It takes him ten minute to say good-bye just to drive down to pick up the mail!"

"Hi Dad, you sound like you don't feel well."
"Your mother messed up my pills. Instead of cutting my water pill in half, she cut my blood pressure pill in half. Good thing I caught her mistake after only three days!"
"Hi Mom, Dad says he had some problem with his medication."
"Oh, that man! He cut his blood pressure pill in half instead of his water pill! It's a good thing I check his meds every few days and caught his mistake this morning."

Last week, I came home from work to find a pile of dishes on the counter from the night before. My daughter and son were studying at the kitchen table.

"Oh, that makes me so angry. Your father said he'd take care of those after dinner last night and they're still here."
My kids looked at one another and laughed.
"What's going on?" I asked.
My daughter answered, "Dad just came through and said that YOU said YOU were going to do them."
"He did?" I asked.
"Yeah," replied my son, "But don't worry. Listening to you two tell the same story two different ways if half the entertainment around here."

Sigh.  He said, she said - the geezer version!

Lori Stanley Roeleveld is a disturber of hobbits who enjoys making comfortable Christians continually late for dinner. She authors the blog, Deeper with Jesus in Rhode Island. She’s seeking a publisher for her speculative Celtic adventure, The Overcomers. Her articles appear in numerous magazines.Back in the dark ages, Lori earned degrees in Psychology and Biblical Studies and more recently, a black belt in karate. She’s a wife, mom, crisis counselor, and part-time dragon slayer.


June McCullough said...

Awesome post. Thank you for making me laugh and for making me realize it wasn't just my household.

Lori Stanley Roeleveld said...

Always happy when my twisted family can bring joy to others, June! :)

Marilyn said...

Great post, Lori. I'm glad to know it's not just me that gets things mixed up. And the goings on you wrote about keep us smiling. Thank you.

Lori Stanley Roeleveld said...

Glad you enjoyed my family escapades, Marilyn. As frustrating as it can be, it does keep me in blog posts! :)

Mocha with Linda said...

Why is it funnier when it's the parents instead of us?! LOL

Lori Stanley Roeleveld said...

I know, right? It' all about perspective!

................................ Kevin Parsons said...

Hillarious! Fortunately that doesn't happen in our household. Right!

Lori Stanley Roeleveld said...

You have a very special household, Kevin. ;)

Maurie said...

This made me chuckle multiple times. We, too, are making sandwiches between generations! Laughing at ourselves is the only path of sanity!

dawn said...

Half of it is due to lapses in memory and half to the Venus Mars thing...loved your telling of it!!

Lori Stanley Roeleveld said...

Thanks, Maurie and Dawn - you're right on about the sandwich generation and the Mars/Venus complicated by senioritis! How do any of us muddle through without grace?