Friday, June 8, 2012

7 Reminders You're Getting Older

Okay, I’ll admit it.
            I’m feeling old.

            The final nail in the coffin came the other day disguised as a Chris Ballard article in Sports Illustrated about an aging superstar. “At 57 he is still lean and graceful …”
He’s 57!
            I’m 57.
            You’re probably wondering what aging superstar is 57 and why would there be a piece in SI about him.
            Yeah, well it’s worse than that.
            That described the aging superstar’s father, Joe “Jellybean” Bryant, Kobe’s dad.
            So, in recognition of the aging process, here are 7 things that remind people we’re older than we’d like to admit.
1) You’re as old as aging superstars’ dads. I remember my father rooting for George Blanda back in the seventies because the two were only a few years apart in age. At 48, George played in his last NFL game.
            Unlike my father in the seventies, I have to root for athletes’ fathers.
            2) Authority figures are younger than you. Oh, this awareness happened ages ago when I made a routine visit to the doctor but this truth has only deepened since then. Teachers, judges, police officers, congressmen, business executives, restaurant managers … oh, the list goes on and on.
            In 2008, a significant transition took place for me. For the first time in my life, I was older than the elected President of the United States.
            3) You get excited about the senior discount at a restaurant. Because of the discounted price, my father brags about eating at a particular Chinese restaurant in my hometown. He must have mentioned it a half dozen times during my last visit.
I’m not old enough yet for that discount but I’ve enjoyed the senior coffee at McDonald’s for two years now (well, three plus actually because, before my 55th birthday, they looked at me and automatically rung me up as a senior—sigh!).
            4) You get your first AARP request. All I got to say is this happened way too early. I’m still in denial with AARP.
            5) You’re considering retirement from the morning basketball league. This one’s tough for me because I’ve always been active. Our morning league includes doctors, teachers, and other authority figures (see point #2) who are mostly middle-aged guys. My knees keep reminding me I’m older than the few high school boys who show up.
            6) You need the dog to walk you. Need I explain?
            7) Someone looks at you and your wife and thinks you’ve robbed the cradle. This actually happened half a dozen years ago to Ellen and me. Ellen swears the woman who said that is crazy (and I’m wanting to believe her in the worst way).
What would you add to the list?

T. Neal Tarver, a native Texan living in Wisconsin, has served churches in Texas and Wisconsin. He, his wife Ellen, and son Daniel lived and worked for three years as missionaries in the Russian Far East. Tom speaks enough Russian to both converse and confuse.

In 2011, Tom was selected as a semi-finalist in the American Christian Fiction Writers’ Genesis contest. He’s also been a two-time winner of MBT’s “Make Every Word Count Flash Fiction” contest. He has written articles for the local newspaper and an international mission magazine. His debut novel, Dark Eyes, Deep Eyes, is available through WestBow Press, Amazon, BARNES & NOBLE, and other retail outlets.
He currently writes from his home in Richland Center, Wisconsin, or from wherever his travels take him. He posts articles weekly at A Curious Band of Others.
Tom has spoken in churches across America, and in Europe, Asia, and the Middle East.


Jennifer said...

When your ready for bed at 5pm!

TNeal said...

And naps are a given. ;-D

BK said...

You know you're a geezer when you, the Administrative Assistant, who used to always be the youngest in the office, are now providing support for Doctors who are young enough to be your sons and daughters.


Caroline said...

lol. Great post. I could sympathize -- if I was old enough. jk

Thanks for the untimely reminder, Tom. :)

TNeal said...

Caroline, laughter is good medicine (and keeps you young at heart). Thanks for turning back the clock a few moments.

Anonymous said...

I knew I was getting 'up there' when I started looking down on the younger generation with a headshake and 'tsk tsk' for doing pretty much the same thing I ran around and did when I was young.

Linda Yezak said...

I found myself saying "Back in my day" recently. Heaven help me! But it was true: back in my day, we wore low rider jeans (but called them hip huggers) and platform shoes. I am now officially old enough to see my old clothes come back in style.

Julie L. Cannon said...

Well, I am clinging to my forties - at least till September when I hit 50. Still, I can feel it, see it. I just take comfort in the fact that wisdom comes with age and hopefully I am past all those 'follies of youth.'
Fun post!

TNeal said...

I had no fashion sense in high school (at least, looking back in retrospect). I remember wearing turquoise bell bottoms with an orange turtle neck. Oh, my goodness, what were thinking back then.

Susan said...

Continue to ignore AARP! :)

TNeal said...

I noticed Ellen got an AARP invite in the mail last week. The envelope remained unopened. Now we're both doing denial together.

LoRee Peery said...

Enjoyed this post. For years, I've needed a hand to get up from an examining table, but I blame that on my back.
We were invited to a baseball game and neither of us could sit on the berm longer than 5 minutes.
I realized my age when I had a birthday higher than my mother's last (she died just before 50).
Well, God looks at the heart (we can think young deep within), even when we have gray hair. I keep telling myself the Bible says that gray hair is a sign of wisdom.