Friday, August 16, 2013

Can Yogi Yield to Yoda?

By H. Kirk Rainer

Returning to Yogi (and life beyond Yellowstone Park), there has been a most interesting development.  Yes indeed, an encounter from a galaxy far, far away.  No; I’m not talking about Marvin the Martian or The Jetsons, but a far more formidable character, chief among the Jedi Knights. Yes, it’s none other than the small but smart, supernatural and strange-speaking Star War’s “Yoda”.   

Yogi is having a close encounter of another kind; one who uses The Force—preferably for good, not bad or evil.  Yogi is not bad or evil, but he does have a credible history of criminal activity:  theft or larceny of lunch baskets.  And with Yellowstone being a national park, such criminal activity could be a federal offense.  So imagine the irony of Boo now fighting crime (with Scobby Doo) while Boo’s bosom buddy is under investigation for committing it (talk about being left holding the [lunch] bag).  

An encounter indeed; for Yoda possesses the power (The Force) to make Yogi’s so-called retirement a rather pleasant one:  his hunger for lunches, his thirst for crime, may be satiated by supernatural
powers so able to extract picnic baskets, lunchboxes and the like with from the unprepared and powerless; and while there is no such thing as a free lunch, there is much merit to the mantra:”The Force be with you”.  
Yogi encounters Yoda.
“Yo-there Yoda, you’re looking very green today.”
With a pensive expression, Yoda crinkles his nose.
“Hungry, you are?” 
“Huh; oh yes, my stomach knows no bounds.  Think of it like—like Space!” 
With a changing expression of annoyance, Yoda asks:
            “’Like Space’, your appetite?” 
            “Yah, you know:  unending in all directions, but fascinating all the same.” 
Yoda, with a tolerance suitable of the being he is. replies:
            “Quite the gift of gab, you have.” 
            “I’m think of myself as gregarious; a friendly fellow with a bit of a quick paw.” 
            “What of me do you think?”      
            “Well, since you ask, I think you should summon The Force and work me up some lunch”

Raising his staff toward a KFC, Yoda concentrates on a 9 piece bucket of traditional chicken.
Yogi, with some awareness and anticipation of what’s levitating his way, remarks: 
            “Now that’s what I call a force for good!  You are the man.”

            “And smarter than the average bear, you are.” 

H. Kirk Rainer was born in Atlanta Georgia, on June 16, 1961; at the present, and for the foreseeable future, he has made his home in Alabama

At this time in his life, Kirk is busy in the general direction of writing; both in training and in practicing this new found endeavor.   At the same time, he continues to ply his skills and education as an industrial engineer.

His writing is largely a reflection of his own experience through post-divorce and non-custodial life (around year 2000). To this purpose, he has gained much support and understanding from such organizations as:  the American Coalition for Fathers and Children (; Alabama Family Rights Association (; Protect Fathers' Right (; and allied resources.

To learn more, please visit  and


Claude Nougat said...

Very funny!

Anonymous said...

Making people laugh is a gift, Kirk - keep it up!

Gail Kittleson

Caroline said...

fun! :)

H. Kirk Rainer said...

Correction: 2nd paragraph;
Should be:

"Yogi is [not] bad or evil..."