The title of this will probably prompt you to think aboutGrandmother’s china or
an heirloom quilt or some other material thing that has had special meaning for your entire
But I’m not
talking about material things. I’m talking about
beliefs, values, morals or any other idea they could cling
to that would make their life better in the event of your death. I believe that our lifestyle
has eroded to the point that material things are the first to come to mind when someone passes.
And that is a shame.
Dividing the departed’s belonging among siblings can bring
out the worse in all of us. My husband’s family made ten piles of things with similar value, because there were ten siblings, and then put numbers
on the piles. Everyone drew a number and if he or she didn’t like the pile they inherited, then they could trade it with
someone or sell it at a garage sale. It seemed very fair to me.
Others haven’t been as fortunate dividing up the
I have a wonderful neighbor who journals every day. She
plans to leave the journals to her children. Knowing her like I
do,those journals will be of moral value and bring peace to her
children. She has a prayer list and she
faithfully pray for the people on the list every day. Any time that I am discouraged I can go
next door or call her on the phone and feel one hundred percent
better after talking to her. She uses phrases like, ‘All this craziness that
goes on," and she is right. She can identify valid problems
and always ask the Lord to help solve them. As for what she
identifies and calls craziness, it gets treated as the devil’s work. She is one of the most
positive and loving people that I have ever had the privilege to know. I thank God for my good neighbors. Kids learn early that if they
whine long enough they will usually get what they want. I know of one young girl who hasso many stuffed animals in her room there is hardly room for
her. Material things will not see these children through
during a time of crisis. Giving children too many things deprive
themof valuable life lessons, like: the pride they feel when
they do chores, earn money, and save for what they want. Handing them everything isn’t teaching them to manage money or be responsible. As parents we need not only
to teach our children to be financially responsible, but to fill their spiritual needs
with a faith that is unshakeable. These children need to be left
belief system that will sustain them in a time of doubt. The worst things we leave our children is the negative
thingsthat they have observed in our behavior. The positive traits
have need to be witnessed, as well as discussed, at some
point in their lives.
We can’t spend too much time letting them know how much we love them and training them to stand on their own two feet.
When I lost my oldest
grandson, if it were not for my belief in God, I could not have made it through the grief. I know
he is in a better place and getting the love he so desperately
while on this earth.
I remember my mother telling me years before she died that when her time come she wanted me to be happy for her. She knew she was going to go to heaven and if ever there was
angel to look over me I know my mother is doing
that. I know my grandson is in heaven
and it brings me peace to. Will your child or children have enough training that if you should be taken away in a heartbeat, they will have the
beliefs needed to survive?
Annette Bergman is a mother of four, grandmother of seven
great-grandmother of five who splits her time between
and Florida. A native of a small barrier island, she was
in that uniquely Southern style which so oft en lends itself
frank -- and humorous -- observation. Now retired after a
plus year career as a REALTOR, Annette spends the bulk of
time writing, a passion she discovered while still selling
That passion has already led to one book, “Return to Tybee”,
and the publication of several humorous newspaper columns.
In addition to that accomplishment, in 1991 Annette sewed
first official flag of her hometown, Tybee Island, Georgia.
talents also led to the creation of nine designs for the
Pattern Company, which were published in the company’s book
Cut-Ups”. In her free
time she enjoys gardening with