Wednesday, October 3, 2012

What will you leave your children?

The title of this will probably prompt you to think aboutGrandmothers china or an heirloom quilt or some other
material thing that has had special meaning for your entire life.

But Im not talking about material things. Im talking about
beliefs, values, morals or any other idea they could cling to that would make their life better in the event of your death.

I believe that our lifestyle has eroded to the point that material things are the first to come to mind when someone passes.

And that is a shame.

Dividing the departeds belonging among siblings can bring out the worse in all of us. My husbands family made ten piles of things with similar value, because there were ten siblings, and then put numbers on the piles. Everyone drew a number and if he or she didnt like the pile they inherited, then they could trade it with someone or sell it at a garage sale. It seemed very fair to me.

Others havent been as fortunate dividing up the keepsakes.

I have a wonderful neighbor who journals every day. She plans to leave the journals to her children. Knowing her like I do,those journals will be of moral value and bring peace to her

She has a prayer list and she faithfully pray for the people on the list every day. Any time that I am discouraged I can go next door or call her on the phone and feel one hundred percent better after talking to her. She uses phrases like, All this craziness that
goes on," and she is right. She can identify valid problems and always ask the Lord to help solve them. As for what she identifies and calls craziness, it gets treated as the devils work.
She is one of the most positive and loving people that I have ever had the privilege to know. I thank God for my good neighbors.

Kids learn early that if they whine long enough they will usually get what they want. I know of one young girl who hasso many stuffed animals in her room there is hardly room for
her. Material things will not see these children through during a time of crisis. Giving children too many things deprive themof valuable life lessons, like: the pride they feel when they do chores, earn money, and save for what they want. Handing them everything isnt teaching them to manage money or be responsible.

As parents we need not only to teach our children to be financially responsible, but to fill their spiritual needs with a faith that is unshakeable. These children need to be left with a
belief system that will sustain them in a time of doubt. The worst things we leave our children is the negative thingsthat they have observed in our behavior. The positive traits we
have need to be witnessed, as well as discussed, at some point in their lives. 

We cant spend too much time letting them know how much we love them and training them to stand on their own two feet.

When I lost my oldest grandson, if it were not for my belief in God, I could not have made it through the grief. I know he is in a better place and getting the love he so desperately sought
while on this earth.

I remember my mother telling me years before she died that when her time come she wanted me to be happy for her. She knew she was going to go to heaven and if ever there was
a guardian angel to look over me I know my mother is doing

I know my grandson is in heaven and it brings me peace to. Will your child or children have enough training that if you should be taken away in a heartbeat, they will have the spiritual
beliefs needed to survive? 

About the Author

Annette Bergman is a mother of four, grandmother of seven and
great-grandmother of five who splits her time between Indiana
and Florida. A native of a small barrier island, she was raised
in that uniquely Southern style which so oft en lends itself to
frank -- and humorous -- observation. Now retired after a 30-
plus year career as a REALTOR, Annette spends the bulk of her
time writing, a passion she discovered while still selling homes.
That passion has already led to one book, Return to Tybee,
and the publication of several humorous newspaper columns.
In addition to that accomplishment, in 1991 Annette sewed the
first official flag of her hometown, Tybee Island, Georgia. Her
talents also led to the creation of nine designs for the Simplicity
Pattern Company, which were published in the companys book
Casual Cut-Ups.   In her free time she enjoys gardening with
her husband, Roy.

The author's website is: 

and enjoy her blog at  


TNeal said...

Your post made me think of my grandmother. I don't remember one material gift from her but I do remember loads of eternal ones. I had the privilege of speaking at her funeral as both a pastor and a grandchild. Hers was the most joyous funeral I've participated in. Thanks, Annette, for waking up a positive thought and memory this morning. It's better than coffee.

Tracey Lyons said...

what a wonderful blog posting. We just went through dividing up things from 2 households, my father's and my father-in-laws. And you're right in the end they are just things. But man oh man can siblings argue over the simplest of items, rather than taking the time for the good memories they bring us.