Monday, December 9, 2013


By Kathryn Bain

The holidays can be a lonely time for some, especially those who live by themselves. They are single, divorced, or the kids have grown and moved out. But it can also be lonely if you’re married to someone who is not a believer.

A lot of people live with a spouse who scoffs at their faith. It’s hard to go to church functions when it’s just you. Going alone is no fun.

The best way to fill that empty void is to find another person in the same situation (preferably of the same sex so there’s no temptation). I’m sure with just a bit of effort, you’ll find several wanting to enjoy a church function but not wanting to go alone. And even some married couples will be in the need of company, especially if they have a sick spouse or their partner is working on the night of a special event.

Drag that stay-at-home spouse with you. Don’t allow them to sit at home having a pity party just because they don’t have their husband or wife to attend with them. And if you’re a married couple in church, you probably know someone who doesn’t have any family who attends special functions with them. Pull them aside and invite them to join you. Three’s a crowd only on a date.

If you’re planning to go solo, get some of the other singles together to attend with you. If enough get together, it could turn into a party.  You might even want to consider doing a quick dinner before the church function.

And don’t forget, no matter how many times you have to do things by yourself, you’re never really alone, Jesus is always with you. Bible verse Matthew 28:20 reads, … And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

Celebrate Christmas with friends and family whether they believe or not. And if you find yourself going to a church event alone, find a friendly face to sit next to. It’s about celebrating Jesus’ birth. And alone or with someone, we should always keep that in mind.

Kathryn J. Bain began writing more than twelve years ago. Her fifth book, Beautiful Imperfection, will be available September 29, 2013. She is the former President of Florida Sisters in Crime and is currently the Public Relations Director for Ancient City Romance Authors. To survive and pay bills, she has been a paralegal for over twenty years and works for an attorney who specializes in elder law. She has two daughters and a dog named Gretchen. Her first grandchild, Hope was born in May, 2013. Kathryn grew up in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. In 1981, she moved to Boise, but it apparently wasn't far enough south, because two years later she headed to Jacksonville, Florida and has lived in the sunshine ever since.


H. Kirk Rainer said...

Good advice, on both ends, in or out of season.

Patti Shene said...

Great post, Kathryn. I'm kind of a social and churchgoing loner right now since my husband is having medical issues that don't allow him to get out of the house.

I'll be more vigilant this Christmas season about including folks who maybe would like to attend events and have no one to accompany them.

Caroline said...

Great advice, Kathryn, and a good tho't: even if we're not lonely ourself, inviting others who are to join us is a great sharing idea!

Kathryn J. Bain said...

Thank you all for commenting. H. Kirk Rainer, good point about it being a good idea to invite people all year long. Patti, I'll be praying for your husband and that you have a wonderful friend-filled Christmas. And Caroline, I'm glad you'll consider asking others to join you.


Claude Nougat said...

Excellent post, Kathryn, yes, this is the time to give and think of others in need!

Kathryn J. Bain said...

Thank you, Claude. Merry Christmas.