Sunday, September 9, 2012

Romance After Fifty

by Carol McClain

English: Romance icon
English: Romance icon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
You sip your morning coffee and put down the paper. Peering at you from across the table sits someone who looks familiar. You knew that person twenty-plus years ago. Those eyes. The smile. No, not a long lost friend, your husband (wife). Through kids, the jobs, mundane household duties, you lost sight of that young man (or woman) and the passion that couldn't keep you two apart.

But don't despair. Now's the time to re-ignite the passion, desire and youthful love you once had. And it's not hard to do.

  1. Compliment your spouse in front of others. I know when I praise my husband to others, he preens. There's still good things he does. Opens jar lids? Kills spiders? Makes the bed without being told? No reason to complain about the dirty underwear on the kitchen counter to others. Believe me. He knows you hate it. (Incidentally, my husband does not do this last thing.)
  2. Surprise her with her with something unexpected. Pick wildflowers and place them, along with lit candles, on the bedroom dresser (on a coaster, please--you would ruin the effect otherwise). During dinner, whisper in her ear how lovely she looks. The exotic, sultry whisper adds a little oomph to it. And please, this advice does not mean to bring her home a golden lab puppy or a dozen chickens to raise. (Again, my husband never did the latter).
  3. Dress up. I'm not talking girdles or suits or stilettos or ties. Change into your best jeans, your prettiest shirt. Shave (this applies to both men and women--remember, even though he grows stubble on his face,  you got those gorgeous legs).
  4. Make a date. It doesn't have to be expensive. A trip to the movies (okay--that is pricey), a walk by the lake, two lawn chairs in the backyard to watch a meteor shower or the eclipse of the moon.
  5. Sex. (Okay, I'm online and you can't see me blush). Ask him or her what he/she likes best. Find your sexiest sleepwear--boxers and flannel pjs are okay for a spontaneous, middle of the frozen night rendezvous. Light the candles (the ones by the wildflowers--see #2), put on some sultry music and spend on time before and after to reacquaint yourself with the person you fell in love with all those years before.
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Liz Flaherty said...

Good ideas, Carol, although the underwear on the counter might be a dealbreaker! :)

JoAnn S. said...

I'm proud to say, my hubby and I were married about fifty--count them almost fifty years, and the week he passed away, the romance was still blooming! So it's possible, gals. I've written journals since he's passed away, passing on how the romance managed to stay alive. Part of it was due to the influence of my parents--they had been married for over 60 years when my Dad died and their romance was also still alive and well! I remember Dad loving to tell the story over and over how when he was courting, they'd hang out in the butter shed. Everyone thought they were churning butter!

Lillian Duncan said...

Great advice!

TNeal said...

I'm sending the link to my wife Ellen (he wrote with eye brows waggling).

A friend and I talked recently about how the love life has improved after 29 (me)-32 (him) years of marriage. Long-term commitment pays off in ways young folks just don't understand (and unfortunately a lot of old geezers as well).

Marilyn said...

What a great subject to write about. This is a good reminder for people who just get busy and forget to pay attention. Everything needs our love and attention.
I also enjoyed the smiles as I read your message. Thank you.

Jenny McLeod Carlisle said...

Very good post. Romance can mean just enjoying being together. We recently bought new living room furniture, and replaced the old matching recliners with new matching recliners. Now we can continue to sit side by side and enjoy whatever, even if he controls the TV controls and it's Lizard Lick Towing or Swamp People.

Carol McClain said...

Thanks, all...being happily married doesn't come easily...we have to want it badly.

Carol McClain said...

Jenny, LIzard Lick Towing? I think our hubbies are twins!

And Marilyn, Yes, we have to remember, the most important people in our lives are our spouses.