Can Boo and Doo Drag the Net?

By H. Kirk Rainer

So while Yogi may yearn (referring to the last article announcing Yogi’s retirement from a life of petty, picnic snatching), Boo and Doo team-up to do their own version of Dragnet.     

On a case involving an alleged well-stocked kitchen.

“Just the facts mam; oh, and something to eat.”

“Say, aren’t you the comic figures that use to – ”.

“We’re detectives, mam; hungry detectives.”

“But you remind me of – “.

“Never mind the similarities mam; just food and facts. Got it?”

“Okay officers – “.

“We’re not officers mam—just hungry detectives.”

“Okay officers—I mean detectves—let me see what I have in the kitchen.” 

“Now your talk’en mam. Can we come along?” 

“Do you have a search warrant?”

“No we don’t; we’re private detectives.”

“Well, come on in boys; ah, I mean bears, dogs—whatever.”

“GROOVY!”

Arriving in the kitchen—a place that is central to the case. 

“Now there’s a term I haven’t heard  in a long time. Are you detectives hip?” 

“Well, not any more; it is from the past when I did a gig with a dude named Shaggy.” 

“Was Shaggy a dog like you?” 

“It just so happens that there was a dog named Shaggy. But no, this guy was a dude.” 

“That’s nice.  Please don’t get me wrong, I like animals; especially the kind that act like us.” 

“So you only like domesticated animals?” 

“Well little bear with the bowtie, I like wild animals as long as they’re not too wild.”

“Oh, I am very domesticated; enough to be acceptable on Saturday morning TV in the early years.  Slap a tie on me and I am –“.

“As hungry as a bear?” 

“How did you guess?” 

H. Kirk Rainer was born in Atlanta Georgia, on June 16, 1961; at the present, and for the foreseeable future, he has made his home in Alabama. 

At this time in his life, Kirk is busy in the general direction of writing; both in training and in practicing this new found endeavor.   At the same time, he continues to ply his skills and education as an industrial engineer.

His writing is largely a reflection of his own experience through post-divorce and non-custodial life (around year 2000). To this purpose, he has gained much support and understanding from such organizations as:  the American Coalition for Fathers and Children (acfc.org); Alabama Family Rights Association (alfra.org); Protect Fathers' Right (protectfathersrights.org); and allied resources.

To learn more, please visit www.hkirkrainer.org  and  www.alwaysfather.com.

  

Can Yogi Yield to Yoda?

By H. Kirk Rainer

Returning to Yogi (and life beyond Yellowstone Park), there has been a most interesting development.  Yes indeed, an encounter from a galaxy far, far away.  No; I’m not talking about Marvin the Martian or The Jetsons, but a far more formidable character, chief among the Jedi Knights. Yes, it’s none other than the small but smart, supernatural and strange-speaking Star War’s “Yoda”.   

Yogi is having a close encounter of another kind; one who uses The Force—preferably for good, not bad or evil.  Yogi is not bad or evil, but he does have a credible history of criminal activity:  theft or larceny of lunch baskets.  And with Yellowstone being a national park, such criminal activity could be a federal offense.  So imagine the irony of Boo now fighting crime (with Scobby Doo) while Boo’s bosom buddy is under investigation for committing it (talk about being left holding the [lunch] bag).  

An encounter indeed; for Yoda possesses the power (The Force) to make Yogi’s so-called retirement a rather pleasant one:  his hunger for lunches, his thirst for crime, may be satiated by supernatural

powers so able to extract picnic baskets, lunchboxes and the like with from the unprepared and powerless; and while there is no such thing as a free lunch, there is much merit to the mantra:”The Force be with you”.  

Yogi encounters Yoda.

“Yo-there Yoda, you’re looking very green today.”

With a pensive expression, Yoda crinkles his nose.

“Hungry, you are?” 

“Huh; oh yes, my stomach knows no bounds.  Think of it like—like Space!” 

With a changing expression of annoyance, Yoda asks:

            “’Like Space’, your appetite?” 

            “Yah, you know:  unending in all directions, but fascinating all the same.” 

Yoda, with a tolerance suitable of the being he is. replies:

            “Quite the gift of gab, you have.” 

            “I’m think of myself as gregarious; a friendly fellow with a bit of a quick paw.” 

            “What of me do you think?”      

            “Well, since you ask, I think you should summon The Force and work me up some lunch”

Raising his staff toward a KFC, Yoda concentrates on a 9 piece bucket of traditional chicken.

Yogi, with some awareness and anticipation of what’s levitating his way, remarks: 

            “Now that’s what I call a force for good!  You are the man.”

            “And smarter than the average bear, you are.” 

H. Kirk Rainer was born in Atlanta Georgia, on June 16, 1961; at the present, and for the foreseeable future, he has made his home in Alabama. 

At this time in his life, Kirk is busy in the general direction of writing; both in training and in practicing this new found endeavor.   At the same time, he continues to ply his skills and education as an industrial engineer.

His writing is largely a reflection of his own experience through post-divorce and non-custodial life (around year 2000). To this purpose, he has gained much support and understanding from such organizations as:  the American Coalition for Fathers and Children (acfc.org); Alabama Family Rights Association (alfra.org); Protect Fathers' Right (protectfathersrights.org); and allied resources.

To learn more, please visit www.hkirkrainer.org  and  www.alwaysfather.com.